can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize