I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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