I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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