Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize