Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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