I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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