My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
