I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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