he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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