physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
