I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
