and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
