I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
