Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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