they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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