My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
