I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I believe in your delicious
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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