You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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