I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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