So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
