we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize