He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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