D3 body, D1 cock
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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