I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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