awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
