Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
