When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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