So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've blown a few things in my day
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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