but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
