after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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