Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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