I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
