problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
