i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
