if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
