we're chasing vodka with high fives
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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