I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize