Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
