Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
