maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
