its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
