Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize