Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize