it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
