yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
