I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
