no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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