I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
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my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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