I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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