You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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