worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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