just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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