A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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