Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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