would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
