I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
