I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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