how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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