getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
