Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
