I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
