my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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