I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
