What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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