9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
