I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
