do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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