the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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