She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
