belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
